Dr. Dewey Lafatem, Nobel Prize winning Psychologist, has released his finding that many republicans are suffering from P.E.S.T. (Post Election Stupidity Trauma). He said the symptoms are sometimes dramatic and increased stupidity has been observed among many conservatives. Dr. Lafatem said, "Many conservative republicans are suffering from a double dose of stupidity because of this election. They must have had a tremendous amount of overconfidence and stupidity to think Romney would win; and then the trama from losing is causing them increased stupidity in order to rationalize the loss."
Karl Rove, for instance, appeared on Fox News and claimed that President Obama's victory can be attributed to "voter suppression." You must admit that's really stupid since voter suppression was actually a republican tactic. While Rove was crying about Romney's loss he was brutally attacked by the Koch suckers. As they kicked and stomped Rove, they were screaming, "We want our four hundred million dollars back!" Speaking of stupid, the Koch suckers actually gave four hundred million dollars to conservative PACs in an attempt to buy the election. As this was happening Sheldon Adelson rolled in and ran over the now unconscious Rove with his wheelchair yelling, "Where's my fifty million?" Sheldon Adelson (who was on the verge of bankruptcy in 2008) has made more money ($30 billion) than anyone else since Obama has been in office and he hates Obama for it -- now that's stupid.
On Fox News Bill O'Reilly said that racist black people and "welfare queens" were the reason for President Obama's re-election. O'Reilly calling black people racist -- now that's stupid. O'Reilly's dog whistle attracted a pack of racists. Donald Trump began advocating revolution (a federal crime) and Rick Perry said Texas will secede from the United States (good riddance). These two idiots managed to sound even more stupid than usual. And just when I thought that stupidity levels had reached the apogee -- Ted Nugent and Rush Limbaugh showed up. Nugent said, "Pimps and whores and sub-human varmints have destroyed America." Limbaugh said that it is difficult for any candidate to run a successful campaign against “Santa Claus.” Then Limbaugh said, "I'm going to run for President in 2016. All I have to do is grow a beard and lose 250 pounds and I'll look just like Santa." Limbaugh/Nugent in 2016 -- now that's stupid.
Peggy Noonan arrived with a republicant Congressional delegation. She said, "You may think my prediction of Romney's victory was wrong but these members of Congress will prove I was right." Insisting that her prediction of Romney's victory was right is pretty stupid. Darrel Issa said he, along with Michele Bachmann, would introduce Articles of Impeachment, "To put Obama in his place." Michele Bachmann, who was arrested on election night for spousal abuse, said "Obama is an agent for the Muslim Brotherhood." When asked why she attacked her husband, Bachmann said, "It was Obama's fault. I was upset about the election and I took it out on my gay husband." Issa said that the republicans in the House of Reprehensibiles would impeach the President because it only requires a simple majority vote. McConnell said, "A two-thirds majority in the Senate is required to remove the President from office. We know we don't have enough votes to do that but it will be fun to hassle the President anyway." McConnell then said his main goal is to prevent President Obama from winning a third term. Really? A third term? -- triple stupid. Congressional republicants wasting time and money on impeachment -- more stupidity.
Montreal-based immigration lawyer immigration lawyer, David Cohen, told CNN that he had received calls from all over the United States after Romney lost on Tuesday. "That's the amazing thing, when they speak on the phone. They're adamant. They feel very, very strong about it," Cohen said. "This government doesn't speak for me -- is the language that we often hear." It appears that most of these ignorant teabaggers are suffering from PEST and they want to self deport. They say Obama has destroyed their "White-wing party" so they're going to a better place with lots of white (snow). The baggers say, "We just want to live in a country where we can practice our religion, own lots of guns, suppress women, live in trailer parks and own slaves." Canadian officials immediately freaked out. They are now proposing erecting a huge fence along their southern border. Sounds familiar doesn't it. Canadian Prime Minister Steven Harper said, "We are facing a disaster. We can't allow a huge influx of butt-hurt teabaggers crossing our border and smuggling all of that ignorance into our country. They will steal our unskilled jobs and their trailer park ghettos will be sucking up all of our Molsen. They will destroy our Canadian culture -- they don't even like hockey. They would probably even want to change our football rules." Dr. Lafatem said, "It's difficult to determine if stupidity levels have increased among teabaggers due to PEST. They already had an extremely high level of stupidity before the election so their actions may not indicate an actual increase in stupidity."
Teabaggers will love Canada. They have single-payer universal health care. They have strict gun control laws that limit hand-gun ownership. Canada has more a more open immigration policy and full marriage equality for gays and lesbians. And Fox News isn't even considered news in Canada. Fox News was denied a license to operate on their news channels because they refused to promise to not lie on the air. Billboards are springing up all over Canada with the following messages:
"Build a Fence on our Southern Borders"
"Baggers come just to get Fee Benefits"
"No Dream Act for Illegal Baggers"
"Increased Crime due to Baggers"
"Keep Canada Canadian"
"Baggers are Stupid"